Tonight my house is dirty. There’s crap everywhere. Some would walk in and tell me it’s not that dirty. Some wouldn’t even notice and most would honestly tell me I’m being ridiculous. But I see crap everywhere.

There are a lot of blogs out there that say I shouldn’t care. I should live “in the moment” and not let the mess create stress.

“Let it be, you can pick it up later.”

“There is more to life than a clean house.”

But…that’s just not me.

The mess does create stress. I like to have my house in order and things put away and piles at least straightened. If there needs to be a pile of papers, so be it, but let’s straighten that sh%t up. Dishes always in the dishwasher or washed and put away, bed always made, counters always clear, dirty clothes in the hamper, clean clothes are put away, shoes in the closet and straight…the list goes on.

Before I paint a picture of a completely perfect house, please know that there are imperfections all over the place. I’m cool with organized chaos.

But, I’m not cool with crap everywhere. I suppose some would say I should seek therapy. Probably true.

But, like I said, so many articles and “experts” say I should just care a little less and let it go. But, the challenge is that when my house is in order, my mind is able to rest and be in order as well. I’m sitting here right now trying to take that time to “be in the moment” and sip on this glass of red wine, but all I want to do it take 14 minutes and straighten up….and THEN be in the moment.

The thing is…the mess sometimes shuts me down, but I’m ready to be ok with that quirky part about myself.

I’m sitting here in this chair looking at my living room and feeling like I’m not supposed to feel the way I feel. A “good” mom wouldn’t be annoyed with this and would just let her kid make messes all over the place. A “sane” person that doesn’t deal with weird anxieties would be able to function and would be more “fun.” A “nicer” me wouldn’t sometimes feel resentful about cleaning up after people.

But…that’s just not me.

I AM a good mom, I AM a sane person (most of the time), I AM fun, and I AM nice. But, most of the time I need my house to be in order.

In life, we deal with chaos all over the place. You can’t even go grocery shopping on a Saturday without dealing with some chaos. So for me, I can control my home and I can control how it makes me feel. When I have a clean house that is in order, I feel free. I’m free to be a better mom, a more down to earth person, a fun person, a nice person. I am me.

So screw what the internet tells you. If you need your house to be in order, then by all means, get out of the chair and pick up your house….while sipping on your glass of wine.

If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t need your house to be in order, then cheers you sister…I’ll join you in about 14 minutes.